It's 5am in the morning in Bristol now. What I can say is just another sleepless night. It's a day, a day with grey sky. After dinner, I went to Juin's house to get some notes. I ate a lot today. A lot. From the things I ate. I clearly knew that I'm totally not in a mood. But I feel nothing. Not emo as well. Just need some talk with somebody. Anybody. Eventually, I knew what I must do at that moment, is to have a walk. We're bored. We decided to go to Sainsbury to have a walk. F.Y.I, Sainsbury is the only place that operates until 10pm here. After buying some groceries, my mood is not back yet. I asked them to bring me to have a walk in uni. My resistance had stopped me from discovering the uni ever since I reached UK. Besides my class, I never know where is the library, the toilets, the cafeterias, the computer labs and so on. I found my place, a place that I can hide my self from others when I need to be alone. I found the library. The stools outside the bar. A nice place indeed. Have some talk with both of them. Talked about everything. I slowly feel the dark side of mine. I am complaining about a friend who used to be one of my close friend. Is this back stabbing? Is it called back stabbing when everyone else felt the same way too? I don't know. Just feel that I am a hypocrite. I need to take note on this. Bad habit I guess. Well, my mom will tell me this is nature of human. But I always believe that when you start treating people around you with your true heart, they'll do the same too.
You might be laughing there, thinking it's so impossible to have people giving their true heart , doing everything and saying everything based on their sincerity. Everyone had their own way to define it. While I always believe that people will appreciate it. No matter how many times I fall. This is me. People will call this stubborn. Or some might say it's stupid. Try it. U will know what I mean.
However, I really hates her. I hope that she will stop bothering a white piece of paper. Somehow I just wish that I can buy her hundred bottles of clorox, turning her into white instead of the geli pink.. puik. =.=
Suddenly, I feel like listening to the song by Eagles, Love will keep us alive,introduced by yj, but I realised that I don't have it in this computer. Downloaded it, and listened to it "N" times. Calm.
Guess it's just a lil hormone imbalance in me. Hopefully it will be alrite when the sun arise again. I also believe in.. LIFE GOES ON~~~~~ hahahahha... if I have the chance to be happy, why not.
-ngiaksssssss-
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